Body image issues
I typically try to shy away from the more controversial subjects, since wading through hatemail is rather time consuming. Most of what I post here are my inane ramblings, reviews of things, or biased news regurgitation. Today, however, I’ll be stepping outside of that. If it results in a flood of shit, so be it, cuz I think this is very important and needs to be said.
A good friend of mine recently commented about my postings or ‘likes’ on Facebook, the ones relating to how women look and whatnot. I thought about what this person said, and realized I was part of a bigger problem and didn’t even realize it. My posts were taken in a way that I did not intend at all, and I’d like to make anyone who reads my
trash stuff understand both where I stand, and what’s going on.
Over the years, I’ve noticed the ebb and flow of what can be referred to as ‘the ideal body image’ for women. Whether it be large chested, small chested, rail thin, curvy, tall, short, or whatever, it seems to change a bit over time. Hundreds of years ago, it was wide hips and small breasts, as seen in many renaissance paintings. The issue at hand has to do with how narrow minded and limiting this is, and also how it results in shaming of one group or another.
First of all, I’m well aware that everyone will have specific preferences when it comes to the opposite sex. Some prefer specific hair color, height, race, even religion. As far as looks go, I personally think that a very small handful of women can be considered to be “flawless”. Everyone has things about themselves that are, for lack of a better term, imperfect. It’s just a fact of life we all have to deal with, both women AND men alike. However, that’s not to say that someone not being “flawless” is not absolutely beautiful.
The post I put up basically said something along the lines of “real women have curves”. This statement, when actually thought about, is pretty fucked up. I’d never really thought about it before, since upon seeing an attractive woman I tend to lose what little intelligence I have, resulting in a neolithic set of rules and intellect. Personally, I find a very wide range of women and body types attractive. My philosophy is, why limit yourself? The only thing that’s unattractive to me is someone who is unhealthy looking. If someone is morbidly obese or morbidly underweight, then they don’t strike me as healthy looking, personally. Other than that, we ALL (mostly..I’ve been to walmart) have good things about ourselves physically. I, myself, am well aware of my good points and bad points. It’s not to say that I’m hideously ugly or less than a man, I’m just far from perfect. My point is, me posting that does not IN ANY WAY mean those are the only types of women who are attractive.
The other part of it is the shaming. While bigger girls have suffered the comments and shaming over the years for their size, they tend to not realize that thin girls get that shit too. People will hate on them and shame them for fitting the “approved norm” or whatever it’s called. The post I stupidly put up is the same thing. It basically says that girls who don’t have curves aren’t real women, which is absolute horse shit. I recently read an article by a model who happens to be a Suicide Girl, and who is into cosplay. She is thin, works out a few hours a day, and has a very fast metabolism. She eats like crazy, but doesn’t gain weight, something I used to have and ended up losing upon entering my 30’s. She got a TON of shit at a con for wearing a revealing outfit, and for standing up for another cosplayer who was being shamed for being overweight. Phrases like “you need to eat something and not throw it up” were said about her weight, and she was accused of trying to play the “thin girl sticking up for the fatty” card for protecting the other girl. This is the kind of shit that makes no sense to me.
If I see a thin girl, her weight doesn’t make her any less hot, to a point, and it shouldn’t. Same thing goes in the other direction. Still, even if I THOUGHT it, I’d never SAY it. That’s just fucked up. I used to get shit for being thin for ages, and always felt ashamed of it. I always saw it as me being worth less than I would if I had a normal build. I’d tried weight lifting, weight gainer, and eating like crazy, but none of it ever worked. I was stuck being less than a man for years until things finally evened out. It wasn’t that I was unhealthy, I was very healthy, but all that didn’t matter. I suffer from some of that too, since people who are extreme in one direction or the other tend to first appear to be unhealthy, which is also a product of our society and culture as Americans.
Anyways, my point still stands as I stated it. Just because you don’t or can’t fit society’s idea of the perfect beauty, doesn’t EVER mean that you aren’t beautiful. Trust me, most guys I know think this way, and don’t rate/judge women the same way that women rate/judge themselves. We’re often very surprised when women express shock at being told how beautiful they are, because it’s very obvious to us. Don’t let society, Facebook, celebrities, or anyone else make you believe what “beauty” truly is. Trust the guys who don’t follow that bullshit, and believe what we feel and what we see. To follow that crap would be to limit ourselves, and we’d miss out on WAY too many hotties.
p.s. This post is meant to come off as honest and sincere, while also being very respectful. If you didn’t take it that way, I apologize, and my only excuse is that I’m a really shitty writer….I’m working on it.