The war of the (wilted) roses

tumblr_mnizviiJcv1re0wxho1_1280Well, it’s all been revealed. The new Xbox will be called the Xbox One, thus pissing off most people I know who already referred to the original Xbox with that name. The new PlayStation will be called the PS4, big shocker there. There’s been a whole lotta shit being said about both sides right now, so for those who haven’t been following, I’ll sum up.

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Don’t worry, Jarjar, XB1 interest will wane soon, and you’ll reclaim your title.

XB1 (sounds like a boy band) will be 500 bucks, and comes with a camera whose microphone is always on and always listening. All games must be fully installed on the hard drive, and require an internet connection at least once every 24 hours if you wanna play your games. You can only share games with up to 10 friends, and they have to be on your friends list for at least 30 days before you can do so. Used games will also have issues, requiring an additional fee to be activated.

ps4-controller

Now if I only had just one more button….

PS4 (no, not the school in the ghetto) will be 400 bucks, and comes with a camera that leaves you the fuck alone. It has some motion sensing and touch sensitive gadgetry on the controller, because 2 sticks, a D-pad, and 10 buttons clearly isn’t enough. It doesn’t require an internet connection to play games, and lets you share and play used games all you want.

3ruy20

Pretty much…

There’s also the Wii-U, which has been out awhile now, but nobody really wants or has one. It’s pretty much a complete failure, which is shocking since the Wii basically owned the last gen in sales. I’ve heard literally nothing good about this console, aside from being able to control it using it’s ridiculously large tablet controller’s touchscreen. It wasn’t a bad idea in theory, but in reality it’s just too much to have to focus on, and takes away from the immersion.

SMB

because Super Mario 98749563785634756346985 wouldn’t fit on the box…

So now this next war is amping up. All 3 have their newest set of old games, from franchises that jumped the shark ages ago. Here’s an idea, folks. Instead of branding a new title with Zelda or Halo or whatever, develop a new IP for the same game. Keep shit interesting. Instead we get Super Smash Bros, Mario, Zelda, God of War, Halo, Gears of War, Call of Duty, and on and on…

metamrph_4

I’ll be over here, fighting off lizard men and shit as a were-panther….Like a motherfuckin boss!

With all this talk, it just reaffirms my choice to bow out of current gen gaming for the most part, in favor of last gen and classic gaming. I have a huge backlog of PS3 and 360 games, as well as about 3000 arcade titles on my MAME cabinet, all apart from my extensive library of older consoles and games. I’ve also gotten really into pinball over the last few years, which is a fucking blast! So sorry fellas, you can keep your latest gen shit shows, with their overpriced games, gimmicky peripherals, and limitations. I’ll stick with the classics, and an occasional last gen title, I think I’ll have much more enjoyment for less stress…

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