I’m falling apart

falling-apart

Looks like I’m gonna be late to work…again

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I’m a whiny complainer. I bitch about pretty much everything, especially when it comes to shit that directly affects me. Lately, though, I’ve been thinking about the various aches and pains and such that my body feels like gracing me with, and something solidified. No, it wasn’t my stool… unfortunately…it’s the fact that I’m friggin falling apart, and I only have myself to blame.

Complainer

truer words were never spoken

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I work out!

I used to be in pretty excellent shape. I had a physical job that kept me moving all day. I was active after hours, whether it be doing something active with friends or going rollerblading or something. I was generally (physically) healthy, for the most part. I came across a picture of myself from many years ago, and while I was very thin, I was also pretty ripped. I had what is sometimes referred to as whipcord muscle, or lean muscle. That all changed.

sedentary-lifestyleLots of things changed at once. I switched careers from an active one to a sedentary one. I got married and stopped galavanting across the countryside every night. I got older. Problem is, I didn’t really make any changes to the other important shit, like diet. This all resulted in me going from 150lbs to 205lbs in less than a year. Nowadays, I get out of bed, go to work and sit all day, come home to relax and sit on the couch, and then go back to bed. There is some activity, so it’s not like my legs will atrophy and I’ll need a rascal or anything, but it very little. This change in lifestyle is starting to really show its effects, and I’m getting a little tired of it.

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Tap out you pussy!

A few weeks back, my wrist started to hurt again. I’ve had carpal tunnel for years, and it comes and goes. I end up wearing a brace for a few weeks until the pain subsides, but it’s just one more thing at this point. Then, on Tuesday, I woke up with a pain in my right hip. It got so bad throughout the day that I started walking with a cane to keep from putting weight on it. I’ve been using the cane the past few days, and though the pain is subsiding, it’s just one more thing. I also started going to an MMA class once a week, which began about  7-8 weeks ago. 2 days after every single class I’d be sore as hell. One week, about 2 weeks ago or so, I got caught in a guillotine choke, and the guy snapped it too hard and my throat got bruised. I’m still feeling the effects of it when I try to sing, and I’m going to the ENT to have him look at it. And this is just the shit during the past month!

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Why can’t stress just burn fat and make me ripped?!

I’ve had back problems for years, due to the abuse I put my body through when working in warehousing. Now, I have nerve damage in part of my upper back, and I can’t lay in bed for too long without being is horrible pain, even with a Tempur Pedic. Also, as some of you may know, I had surgery last year to correct an issue in my nasal cavity. The surgery worked for the right side, but not the left. Actually, I think the left is worse now than when I started. To make matters WAY better, my allergies just started gang raping my nose and throat with insatiable fervor, thus making me perform like a pubescent boy whenever I sing. Plus, with my nose being clogged all the time now, I make a whistling sound like an oncoming train whenever I breathe heavy. This means every time I have sex it sounds like a train being pulled by oxen, which is probably traumatizing my poor wife. You’re welcome for that image, by the way.

modern medicine--ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you

Your insurance company will thank you as well…

I know what I have to do. I have to stop being lazy. I gotta get off my ass and start exercising, start eating right (I never eat breakfast), and get my shit straightened out at the doctor.  I luck out that I’m not really a snack food person or a candy person, but that’s of little comfort to me right now. It’s sad to say, but this point in my life (I’m mid 30’s) is most likely when I’ll look the best I ever will, physically. I need to capitalize on that or I’m just gonna end up with regret, as well as more aches, pains, and health problems….

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