I can’t work under these conditions….

Over the weekend, I downloaded a demo for Marvel Vs Capcom: Origins on my PS3. Having been utterly fucking obsessed with the original MVC, and enjoying MVC2, I was curious what this game was. I had a few minutes to mess around, and decided to fire up the demo and give it a go. That was about the same time that I remembered why I don’t like playing fighting games on a console….

Pure fucking awesome!!!

Just so you all know, MVCO is sort of a remake of the original MVC, but it’s as if you’re playing it on a CRT or old tube TV. On the sides of that screen (since it’s done in 4:3 and my TV is 16:9), there are goals listed. Stuff like “hit your enemy after the match ends for 5XP” or “You’ve won 2/10 matches”. This lets you test your skills and level up. Now just a quick note to those who’ve played the original before. You know that the only way to hit your opponent after the match ends is to hit the start button. Well, there’s the rub. It doesn’t appear to be fucking mapped! I hit every goddamn button on that fucking controller, and none did it. Sorry, had to bitch.


Where the fuck is Jun?!

So, that aside, I’ll let you all in on some of my background. I grew up an arcade fighting game addict. It started with Street Fighter 2, followed its iterations until Mortal Kombat came out, followed its iterations until I first played Tekken 2, then it was Tekken 3, and then Marvel vs Capcom. On my multicade at home, the most played games are fighting games. I wasn’t very good at them, mind you, but I loved them nonetheless. In fact, my current controller setup on my multicade is a 6 button fighting layout, as opposed to the classic button layouts geared towards older games. I spent countless hours throughout the 90’s playing these games, riding my bike to the mom and pop video store in Deer Park just to play some SF2CE with my friends.

Ryu: beating down women since 1987.

My problem with fighting games on consoles is a simple one. The controller. Fighting games are mostly designed to be button mashing slam fests, which don’t lend themselves to controllers well at all. In MVC, for example, you perform super moves that require all three of either the punch or kick buttons be pushed at the same time, coinciding with a half moon joystick movement. The problem is, console controllers only have 4 face buttons, so you have to somehow hit the two face buttons and one of the triggers at the same time. Also, the strongest punch and kick buttons are triggers, which makes for awkward special moves. And combos? Really? Might as well just put it on easy instead, since combos with a controller is akin to trying to doing the same moves on an arcade with your feet.

This fucker goes for about $150…

“Good sir,” you ask, “why not just use one of those arcade controllers for the consoles?”. Well, I’m glad you asked. 2 reasons. First is that most of them are wired, and my console is about 12 feet away from where I sit when I play games. Also, I have kids, so having a wire connected to a $300 console draped across their play area isn’t the smartest of ideas. Oh sure, they have wireless one, but they either need to be plugged into the wall via AC adapter, or they eat batteries like a fat nerd at a DnD game eats Cheetos. The second reason, is that they’re fucking ridiculously expensive. The cheaper ones suck and don’t respond for shit, and the decent to good ones are $80+!!! Sorry, but if I spent $50 on a game, I shouldn’t need an $80 controller to be able to play it. That’s just shitty.

We rock this shit like it’s 1988!



So as it stands, I won’t be getting any more of these games until I can pick up a decent controller on the cheap. This is, hands down, the shittiest type of game conversion. If someone knows a game cold, they shouldn’t have to spend hours re-learning how to play it again so they can use a controller. That’s just retarded. I’ll stick to my arcade cabinet for now.


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “I can’t work under these conditions….”

  1. David DeMar says :

    There’s nothing worse than spending rolls of quarters learning a move set on an arcade cabinet, only to have to re-learn everything on a console port. I swear I’ve sprained my teenage hands trying to contort them into playing SF2 on the SNES.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: